This is where it all began..
I’ve always kind of believed in God from when I was little girl I remember the first time I prayed and asked for something.. In my grandmas house because I had lived with her at the time.. I was crying in my bed and I didn’t know why my mom had left, I was sad and I wanted her back, so i asked God to bring her back.. Sure enough a few days later she came back for us. That’s when I knew faith was real in him. Growing up I rarely went to church, never read a word from the Bible.. Never really prayed or thanked him for anything.. I would always just ask.. And he would let me know here and there through the next course of my life that he was with me. Even though I didn’t fully appreciate him or even really believe in him. When I was 19 years old, after I had my child and went through a custody battle, and didn’t win, I moved to Humboldt and did some serious soul searching(or so i thought) that’s when I became heavily influenced in pagan/witchcraft stuff like healing crystals, tarot cards, and manifesting energies. When i started this stuff I would get signs which in that realm of deceit they call “synchrinocties” I would be walking down the road and would be led my entire path to and from work a gray feather every 5 steps or so.. I thought this was my angels saying they’re looking Out for me. According to Google it was. I also had birds stop and stare at me and even one who flew into my bedroom window and i thought they could Understand the energy I was recieving in a good way(but they understood alright.. In a demonic way now I realize) and so at that time it gave me confirmation that I needed to trust the universe. And so I did, and I got into Buddhism, meditation, yoga, wicca/pagan lifestyle, manifesting under full moons.. As innocent as I thought it seemed. After my first full moon ritual is when I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I blamed it on the guy i was dating.. We were treating eachother terrible, anyway and I was just so fed up with all the abusive and honestly it had tore me to pieces because my spirit hurt for him, knowing he was damaged and so I loved harder when I should’ve left. So it made sense to me at the time. I ended up being soo soo soo sad and depressed that I thought about taking my own life almost every day but never had the balls to do it. Thank the Lord! But I honestly thought leaving this world was the only hope because nothing and I mean nothing seemed okay inside or out. I left my ex bf and moved in with my sister, I contacted a psychic who told me I had little demons pulling me down, and that I was very foggy and she knew something was wrong.. And that I needed a blessing, or church or to be cleansed.. And that she seen a big move coming up for me. this was also the point when I then got diagnosed with colitis, I got sick alot, I lost my job.. And i was obsessing compulsively over what was wrong with me and that i was deteriorating and so every chance I had I was on my phone trying to find answers only to be plauged by more worrying by the next thing I found I might have.. And it was a never ending cycle. I just couldn’t take it. Suicidal thoughts kept coming. One day I was in my room, crying hysterically.. What else could I do, I needed guidance.. And love and comfort.. And i didn’t know who else to ask but God.. So i was in my room crying and i said with all my might out loud “God.. if your real, if you are here.. please give me an opportunity to draw near you a sign to lead me to you Lord and I promise i will follow.. Give me a chance to connect with you show me You are real! I need you!!” And the next day i decided to call my close friend because she always knew how to cheer me up.. And i didn’t call her because she was a believer of Christ in fact it didn’t cross my mind at all, I just called for comfort.. But she ended up inviting me to a Jesus Culture concert thing.. And right then I knew.. God had used her to ask me to come, and he answered my prayer.. So that was my sign to get close to see what he was all about. I didn’t have any money, I didn’t have anything so her mom let me ride with her and even on the way there our head gasket blew, I knew the enemy was probably preventing this from happening for me so I prayed during the breakdown and it didn’t stop us, we contacted her husband who let us use his truck and proceeded on our way. The night of the concert, was amazing.. The Holy Spirit let me feel it as much as my soul could; my eyes could not focus when i tried to close them, they flickered so fast under my eyelids I could tell something was preventing me from feeling this.. I even got anxiety in the church. I didn’t know what was wrong I thought I was supposed to feel immense glory right? So after that i went and smoked some herb with my friend and we were in the car talking about God and just on fire with it, I was ready to give my life to him.. And then all of a sudden her dome light went off which was normal obviously after a certain amount of time. In my head I was like oh no I’m scared of the dark, and then it went back on right after I thought that.. And she was like “whoa that never happens” and then immediately I felt fear overwhelm my body, I had experienced the worst panic attack in my life. I immediately went pale and started sweating and my heart was racing and beating so hard, during this my friend was like “whoa Lorena are you okay?, I lost you girl, stay with me what’s going on we were just talking about God..” And I then heard a growl in my ear, a very scary demonic growl. And i tried so hard to stay grounded and not let it take over so I kept saying to myself trying to believe “gods got me”, it’s okay, and then we rebuked the demon and I started to feel a little better gradually and we went home and I read my Bible and I was still scared because I didn’t have alot of faith yet. But I was okay.
I went back to my Home town a couple days later and i kept being pulled twords believing in “the universe” and continuing on God’s path.. I went as far as denying God again and deleting this “reasons for jesus group” I was in and the Christian radio station app my friend had told me to add. Over the course of the next three weeks I had relocated to southern California(the psychic was right) at this point the enemy brought the ex back in my life knowing it would corrupt my walk and we tried this long-distance thing until I had a revelation from God that I can’t be unequally yoked, and that I cannot serve two masters because my heart was decieving and desperately wicked but I didn’t know because i am naturally forgiving. So I had to let him go and it was hard, but I know God has a plan for me! Around the time when I first got here I would see flashes of light, I would smell a fowl smell everywhere i went, and lights would flicker.. I didn’t know what all that meant until now. But at the time i knew it was very odd. I started to become depressed again and my anxiety never let up. I was irritable and angry and just “off” I even went to see family I hadn’t seen in years and didn’t feel exceeding joy like i should have. I figured if I would try the new age thing one more time this would be the time, so i went and got some healing crystals, some “blessed” under the moon protectant spray and sage.. I did all that for it to only mask my troubles for a second.. That’s when I realized I needed to give this guy Steven Bancarz testimoney video a listen..(and I highly recommend it to anyone) so when I did this, it was like a thousands bricks came crashing down. I was looking for guidance and joy and peace in all the wrong places. I immediately realized who i needed. I needed Jesus. Now they say once you become woke to the truth of God that the enemy will use all his forces against you.. I threw out anything I had pertaining to the “New age”, my crystals, my mandalas, my “lucky elephants”, my tarot cards(I burned those!), my sage and my “protection” spray.. And Satan new this and tried to attack me in my sleep later this night. I had a terrible dream that he was inside my head while I was dreaming just spewing lies about God and me and saying wicked things. I was very scared, in my dream, I tried to rebuke them in Jesus name but it didn’t work all the way, they left my head but then these demons were shadowing the bottom of my door about to open in when I started to pray the lords prayer instead.. And as all of this was happening a soft voice in the back of it all said psalm 34-4.. Psalm 34-4.. And I wasn’t aware of the word throughly to know what psalm that was off hand. So when I finished praying i woke up immediately after and looked it up in my Bible. I’ll forever remember his words to me “I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” that was my confirmation. I had then done my research on deliverance from everything evil i had done against Jesus and realized doing all of that new age stuff asked those spirits inside me (without knowing it), and it gave them legal ground to torment my soul the way they were for the past 4 years. I then met a couple of ministers who helped me break all legal ties to them.. This was extremely supernatural and birds were flying everywhere above me – singing and the dogs were barking, as they could see some of the demons fleeing. I ended up feeling the comfort of the Holy Spirit literally come alive in me like a wild fire.. I got tingly and couldn’t stop smiling I felt so peaceful and loved! That night really showed me how renewed I was becoming, then the demons came back only this time in reality, not in my dream; they touched me forcefully enough to wake me up, it was as if they flicked their hand across the back of my head out of anger that they can’t torment me anymore. And if I didn’t have faith in God (like the old me) I would have been terrified and woke up frantically not being able to go back to sleep. But that wasnt the case any longer. I know God has my back and so I just said the Lords prayer and went peacefully back to sleep. I haven’t had those experiences since. I trusted God and I wasn’t afraid. That makes all the difference now. My spirit was being cleansed the next day, i smelt horrible lol but that’s what happens. The Holy Spirit detoxed me from all the crap my body had due to impurity. I’m so thankful Jesus saved me! So since then I have stopped having anxiety and i haven’t took any medication(from taking them almost everyday), I also don’t have depression any longer either 😊 I’m free with the grace of God! finally! I decided I didn’t want to smoke anything anymore, I took all my piercings out willingly.. I also don’t fancy being rich, or even cussing nearly as much as i used to, or being the most attractive, or being attracted to the most handsome guy around me.. None of that is appealing anymore. It’s crazy how God opens your eyes. Most worldly things are behind me because I realized we are spirits of God having a mere human experience. Now I’m just trying to get to heaven where i can live life eternally happy with no “life” limit. I’m no saint, I’ll never claim to be perfect and I may still sin in some ways, but I always catch myself and ask for forgiveness. It gets easier as your faith grows stronger, i promise.. Because God promised. 💪🙏 ❤️