Spiritual Warfare

Ephesians 6:12 KJV

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”

Let me be more specific:

My life has been anything but easy but gods good grace carried me through and through and the majority of the time I didn’t even know it. Since i was recently saved and born again(about a month and a half now) after being involved with the new age for 4 years.. I knew I needed to seek deliverance after breaking all of the legal rights from these demonic strong-holds that caused havoc within my life and myself. I thought i was delivered as on my testimoney it claims because I do feel the Holy Spirit working inside me, convicting me, and cleaning up my life and having the immense feeling of dedicating everything I am to walk with our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. But at the same time, I am experiencing spiritual warfare –  as well as physical symptoms like body twitches, headaches, vision problems, throat tightness, twisting scriptures etc.. which shows me clearly i still need deliverance. However, I’m remaining like the tree God built me as..  I have been reading my Bible every night, I even tried fasting and fell ill 2 days in and had to break it. I pray often. I’ve been to minister after minister(online) and i feel that none of it has quite relieved me from this all, even though they were very knowledgeable and kind. I tried to seek out a church because I feel that i need actual in-person help and yesterday my first day at this church i felt drawn to; the pastor told me he’s never dealt with deliverance and really didn’t understand what I was saying, although he prayed for protection over me.. which was nice,  but you and I both know what we see here. It’s a battle now, I am at war with the enemy. So I said thanks and just went home and ultimately felt like giving up.  I then asked God to please take this burden from me, I put this in his hands, if he leads me to the right place then so be it.. I’d happily oblige with his will, but I didn’t want to keep coming to dead ends with online help or hopeless churches who don’t understand, let alone preach the full gospel. 

Mark 16:14-18 NKJV

14 Later He appeared to the eleven as they sat at the table; and He rebuked their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they did not believe those who had seen Him after He had risen. 15 And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. 16 He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. 17 And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues and will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.”

 So then later that evening(last night) random events led me to the website “Hardcore Christianity” out of Nowhere, I wasn’t seeking this since I officially put it in God’s hands. Then I read all about the ministry over the website and I truly felt this is where I was being led, it’s everything I have come to believe in when it comes to what this ministry offers and how the enemy is “behind the pulpit” these days, and especially when it comes to deliverance and post-deliverance. I had a very strong urge to pray that the Lord gets me to this ministry,  but not only that, i truly felt like i need this also as a rehabilitation/discipleship/mentor program as well. So I then logged into my FB and got a confirmation on the first picture I seen on my time line.. It read: “May 22nd 2017, you’re not reading this by accident. This is your confirmation, know that everything is going to be alright, God is making a way for you right now” I think the Lord has big plans for me truly, wether it be this ministry or something else because I got even more confused by this ministers reply from this place in Arizona as he just sent me another self-deliverance thing online to do and go over breaking strongholds I already broke.. And then praying over myself. Don’t get be wrong it was great advice but it didn’t sit right with me and I’m not sure what that means honestly, so I’m going to complete it anyway to be sure.  Then I was talking to a friend about all this who sent me baptism/deliverance videos suggesting that may be what I need. I then came across another website off those videos and found “The Last Reformation”; now this is exactly the disciple training school my heart yearns for! 3 months at this place? Sure! I also just got blessed with a job, and I start soon and can save to go here. Meanwhile, I read the disciples who came out of this school have a map back home where they reside and can help people like me and I found a guy 2 hours away! I sent him an email and I’m hoping this baptism along with the deliverance list is God’s Confirmation ❤️ I know he’s truly got something planned for me as I’ve been told this by a few different people with how far I’ve come in knowledge and discernment and all in the little time I’ve been saved,  plus my whole life I’ve always felt that I’ve had a big purpose. I just don’t know what God wants to do with me yet, and honestly..  it’s exciting to find out 😊. I’ve been praying for the next step on those prophecies IF they are true. Since I don’t have custody of my Child,  (although I pray for that connection again someday),  I feel like that’s not happening anytime soon because God needs to make sure I’m ready.. and as much as I’m surrendering, I know it’s just the beginning right now. I am trying my best to keep my faith alive while dealing with all of this, and I am 😊 I have repented time and again and thank God for my convictions and am now asking “what next..”  And even if it may sound crazy, I feel like this is it. This is something I know I have to continue pray about and I pray not to be decieved but at the same time; knowing great truth thus far and being quickened,  yet not having true fellowship and no mentors makes me want to be on the safe side and stay on the narrow path!  Honestly, I just feel kind of alone in this. I know it’s just the enemy and he won’t win. God’s already won this war! Although my faith will never cease,  i really want to sacrifice my entire life as I know it and become discipled by a ministry that there is ultimate truth in so that I may produce great fruits and do big things for the Glory of our God. I haven’t been water baptized yet. Which is also why i want to get that stage under my belt ❤️ I’m praying this is what my next step is. 

Isaiah 55:9 NKJV

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,So are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

God is higher than anything that causes us to worry and feel like a total wreck. What causes your feelings of hopelessness? Is it a dreaded disease? A need for money? Freedom from a form or bandage, or slavery to sin? Whatever it is, God is higher than it. 👆 at times we feel hopeless because we can’t see any other way than our way. We have to understand that God’s ways are different. When you think and feel like there’s no other way to get around what you’re facing,  God has something up his sleeve 😉 you can count on him! XO 

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